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Take me home…

Your home misses you. Your homespun mother. Your overtly tough father. Your simple playful sister. You may be enjoying countless rebellious evenings lost in dry martinis, streaking your hair in the best of shocking colours, wearing clothes that reveal a tad too much for your family’s tastes, but you will forever be forgiven. Trust me, there’s no place like home.

I can tell you this for a fact. For am one of those who’s tried most tricks out of the book to get away from my home. Away from Baba with his rule books, from Ma who hasn’t grasped technology as yet, Didi, who’s an irritatingly eternal child, grand folks who live by my achievements. Yes, I have gone away and got lost like Little Bo Peep’s sheep. When Baba was diagnosed with his liver problem, I was happily downing cans of beer. When my grandma passed away I made sure I cared a rat’s ass for it. But when I returned home, tainted, failed and jolted back to reality, home welcomed back their girl. I once asked my colleague what’s it like to be a mother. “Well, you’re blank the moment the child is handed over to you. You’re frightened too. This tiny thing, incessantly crying away, where did she come from? And I was pretty angry because she was crying in her mother’s lap!” And she smiled her mother’s smile. Nothing can really surpass the experience.

I usually judge a movie by the impression it has on me. I am a bad movie critic, you may say. Because I do not like to discuss the ‘story’, the ‘techniques’ and so on.  In fact, people find me an inconvenient reviewer because I keep conspicuously mum after a movie. Some have now learned to take my silence as sheer joy. I just watched Black Swan.  It was beautiful. More so, because I saw myself in the protagonist, Nina. Now, the preceding sentence in itself is the mark of a movie well made. When you can recognize elements of your life/mental makeup of the characters, the imitation of creation is perfect. All artists are imitators. It’s a matter of getting it right. The film is everything and nothing about ballet. It is about a ballerina’s struggle to get the lead in the famous ballet composition Black Swan. Nina, a young and beautiful ballet student leads a life strictly under the protection of her mother, who shares with her the vivid dream to see her daughter as the Swan Queen on stage. The film proceeds with how Nina gets the role, is seduced into the big bad world of sex, drugs and rebellion and eventually dies at the end of her best ever performance as the Swan Queen on stage. Quite predictably yet sensitively the storyline of Black Swan runs parallel to Nina’s struggle. A beautiful white swan is in love with a fair prince. But she is lured into the alluring dark world of evil by the black or evil prince. She turns to the evil Black Swan, struggles through her life and finds freedom in death.

When the co-actors crowd around the dying Nina, her face is calm and beautiful, the hall is wild with applause. Nina dies with the words, “It was perfect!” This in particular reminded me of what I felt when I saw my parents at the airport. I had taken the impulsive decision to return. They were too shocked to speak because I had given them a 2 hour notice and myself 15 minutes to pack my life up and come back home. I guess I had too much ego to break down then and there. So I broke the silence saying, “Why didn’t Didi come?”

Wherever you are. However high your ambitions soar. Whatever you are or not guilty about. However far you have strayed. Whoever you have become. Your home still waits for you. Between birth and death, this and only this is absolute. May it remain so.  Amen.


Sreemanti Sengupta

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: , , ,
  1. Sudipta
    February 22, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    None like family & no place like home..
    miss home.

    • February 22, 2012 at 8:00 pm

      give them a call and be a baby. you’ll feel better 🙂


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