Home > Uncategorized > Only Fools Love. Others Pretend.

Only Fools Love. Others Pretend.

Am such a fool. For instance, I don’t know what ‘online image’ is. That’s mighty sad. In a world, where your mask is your adornment, you can’t possibly use words like ‘complicated’ as adjectives to your name. No, dear. It may cost you something much more expensive and substantial than a scant display of complimentary sarcasm.

“Elementary psychology, Watson!”

That’s what the legendary detective would say.

I once had a friend when I was a lonely weird girl, alone in big, bad city. That isn’t unusual. I’ve always been lonely and weird. And I’ve tried to compensate the feeling of not being fawned by the mob by tagging myself a loner. And this is perhaps the first time that am publicly admitting, that it’s very very hard being different. Yes, you can always do your own thing. But it’s wretched to feel alienated by a population that considers you a martian because you don’t have a boyfriend.

Aside: This brooding will do the death of me!

So this was a little honey coloured friend whose hair flowed on forever. She was there and she understood I was different and suffering for it. But she was no different. So I lost her. The fool that I have always been.

Feste, the court jester in Shakesperae’s Twelfth Night said, “Better be a witty fool than a foolish wit.”

Shakespeare’s jesters/fools were employed specifically to be ‘fools’. They made money out of being dumb. Unfortunately they knew much more. They were the ones who could see through the masks, rip them apart and scoff at them. To be a fool, you have to be clever. You have to know the rules to break them. And it’s a thankless job. You’ll find yourself in the pit of loneliness. Not a soul will understand what you’re up to. And you thought only the ‘H’ was silent in ‘HONESTY’. 🙂

People like me have a hard time living. Aldous Huxley was a man who continues to startle me with the conviction with which he advocated foolery.

In The Doors of Perception Huxley writes about his experiments with the drug ‘Mescalin’. This, perhaps was the only deliberate attempt to sedate our more ‘intelligent’ selves and go back to something more primal and native. Huxley claimed that the ‘human situation’ had become so very complicated and corrupted that the only way we could go back to our richer/truer selves was with the assistance of such a chemical which would temporarily launch us into a simpler, less intelligent world. In short, a world where foolery makes sense.

There are countless examples I could quote. Since the day I discovered that I was a fool, I have religiously sifted through people/places/situations that would make me feel a little less of a loser. I have succeeded sometimes.

I will be forever thankful to the masterful Indian actor and film maker, Raj Kapoor for making a film like Mera Naam Joker.

The film portrays the quintessential fool in one of the most sensitive ways I’ve seen in Indian cinema. The joker, the world’s laughing stock, wrecked with pain, shedding silent tears under his permanent painted smile.

I think I’ll forever continue to be the essential fool. I’ll never understand how to get out of the dirty stuff. Probably, I’ll never be successful. Never build up a favourable image. But, I’ve come a long way. Got too much pain. And now, I’ve simply grown into myself. I cannot wear the mask, and alienate myself for me. So I can only hope and pray for all you clever ones. I am not writing this to demean you. Am more sorry for myself than angry at you. This is how I am. And I have committed to foolery at a scale much larger than online images. Someday, I hope I’ll be proud of it.

This post is dear to me. It’s the most personal thing I’ve ever written.

Here’s to you dear. Sleep well. Happy 2012.

Yours Joblessly, The Jobless Ideator

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Neelansh itkan
    January 3, 2012 at 8:18 pm

    I am wondering which continent you belong to..
    I just got back..and it was a wow too
    Rest I am reading ‘em ..you quite a bally writer, involves the reader’s head with in the words and then, wait for the trigger. Nice, I’ll use that.:)
    Neel

    • January 3, 2012 at 8:25 pm

      Thanks Neel.
      I belong to the continent of expression 🙂
      Thanks for dropping by 🙂

      Yours Joblessly,
      The Jobless Ideator

  2. Neelansh itkan
    January 3, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    Continent of expression!
    Eu US are both Jobless right now, so as My India.
    Grrr…I’m not getting that. Give up!!
    Glad to see you have written about Raj Kapoor, he deserves that. These days his grandson is on the cloud 9,in here movie-industry.
    I have my contact mails and msn on my gravatar. Catch me up there if you need to know anything for your “Ideating”, may be I could help a bit though.
    Best,
    Neel 🙂

    • January 3, 2012 at 8:55 pm

      sure 🙂 Gnite 🙂

      Yours Joblessly,
      The Jobless Ideator

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